10 Ways We Might Arrive In Heaven

Jesus offers the way to enter Heaven, but the Bible doesn’t say what it’s like arriving there.  There’s nothing in scripture about it. So, I feel free to speculate on that next moment after death. 🙂

1. Via pneumatic tube, flying out of a chute into God’s arms.

I suggested this to a friend.  He pointed out it would come with a pleasant “FOOP!” sound.  And is incidentally the word “Poof!” backwards.  Coincidence? 😉

2. Materializing, like on Star Trek.  (Or maybe I should say “de-materializing”)

3. We suddenly find ourselves in an elevator with the floor count accelerating so fast you can’t even read it. There’s a ding, and it just reads “Pearly Gates” and the door opens.

4. We actually have to climb stairs, but the upside is Jesus walks up with us.

5. It’s dark and silent, then we hear tons of angels yell, “SURPRISE!” and the lights come on.

6. We peck our way out of a shell that looks strangely like planet Earth.

7. There’s a really bright light, you’re straining to see and God is saying your name.  Then you realize he’s peeling your eyelid open and shining a flashlight into it.  Then he says, “Ah, there you are!”

8. You are jolted awake and someone tells you “Count to three, then pull the cord!” just before pushing you out of what looks like an airplane. After dropping a few thousand feet you pull the cord, the chute deploys, and you come out of the clouds to see a massive crowd of people in the Holy City below looking up, waiting for you to land, and cheering.

9. Someone says, “You’re on!” And you hear God say, “Please welcome my next guest, (your name)!” The curtain opens and an angel pushes you out.

10. You wake up in God’s lap, rocking in rocking chair. He hands you a cookie and a cold glass of milk.

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