In 2011 much was made of the Harold Camping rapture meme nonsense. In 2012 we have the ongoing Mayan apocalypse noise. I’ve been thinking it would be good to take a hard look at the book of Revelation. It’s a book of both history and prophecy, the last chapter, so to speak, of God’s revealed message to us. It’s imagery is wondrous and mysterious. Those qualities lead to lots of speculation. I think it would be nice to hammer out the differences between what it says, its interpretation, and the speculation. Paul wrote that all scripture is useful. I think truth has benefit because it provides reliability, something we can bank on that helps steer us clear of error. What I would like to do in the near future is survey the book with an eye on gleaning what is edifying out of it.

A whole mess of famous end times books have come and gone over the years. In my mind, they’ve mostly done harm. I feel for the yearning of my fellow believers, wanting to see God’s kingdom finally overtake the world, but there’s a heavy cost to that. I think it is far better that as believers we hope for those days to be held off as long as possible for the sake of those who still need Christ. Without that attitude, I think a writer is in poor position to examine the book of Revelation. So whether the tribulation that is to come is near or far, I will daily approach it with the hope that it is far, because whether or not it is makes no immediate difference in my ability to serve Christ. That is to say, my focus should be on Christ and the commission he gave to seek others to come into his kingdom. The larger events are God’s deal to worry about.

Anyway, it’s a curious topic for believers and non-believers alike, so it should make for some interesting blog posts. I hope to get started soon.

I am a Mac/iOS software engineer. I intentionally never say who I work for or what products I work on, because I want a clean separation between my identity and my employer on this blog. I’ll just say that for the last year I’ve been assigned to cross-platform applications for graphics and animation. These are powerful tools with some engineers behind them that are masters at their craft. I, however, am not comfortable in the genre. My history has been writing Mac-centric system utilities. I feel like Michael Jordan playing baseball. It’s awkward. So, I’ve kept my résumé in circulation.

The key point that I should make here is that I’ve been with my current employer for more than 15 years. That’s an eternity in the software industry. The company has been good to me, and for most of the ride I’ve been quite happy. My discomfort now is not a problem with the company. It’s a simple conflict of personal desires.

The company I’m considering leaving for is tiny, but the position has a lot of appeal. It’s a chance to do some serious iOS coding on an app I’d own top to bottom. The offer they game me is a nice offer I’m happy with. When it was presented to me, I took it home thinking this is absolutely what I want.

Today, I had to do more than imagine leaving the place that’s so long been my home. I had to tell my current employer that I intended to take the position. That was really hard for me to do. There’s the personal connection to the people I know and the reality of how it will substantively impact plans if I go. I knew they would make a counter offer to keep me. I could have just said flat out that I had made up my mind to take the new position, and avoided that. But there’s a sense of allegiance that lingers with me. They’ve been very good to me. And indeed, they did counter.

I haven’t pulled the final trigger yet. It’s become a very hard decision for me, a battle between my heartfelt personal desires and the weight of personal history, plus the life-altering risks of change versus the safety of the known. It’s courage vs. prudence.

So, everyone is waiting. What will he do? There are three camps. My employer, my potential employer, and my friends in the know about all that’s transpired. It feels like the climax to a movie. Everyone wants it to end a certain way. But there’s no fiction here. I just have to decide what I’m willing to give up to gain.

UPDATE:

I weighed out things carefully and decided to continue with the company I work for. It was a complicated decision. The reality is I’m getting paid well to contend with awkward feelings, but now there’s full disclosure. In some sense, I’m betting on the possibility of doing significant iOS work down the line in my job, which I would certainly find more personally appealing. I’ve also reevaluated my role on the team after talking with my manager and the project lead. It gives me some perspective. Now to play the cards.

My parents turned to Christ after I was born. My Mom had an intellectual faith pretty much her whole life, but actually received Christ as her savior after connecting with a Baptist church shortly after I was born. My Dad was an atheist. He told me that he became a believer by reading the Bible. He was convinced by Jesus. What he didn’t tell me is how that came about.

After my Mom’s faith took hold, apparently my Dad thought it was laughable. He continually mocked Christianity. He thought it was ridiculous. It weighed on my Mom. She spent a lot of time on her knees praying for God to open his eyes. Things came to a head when he made some particularly ridiculing remarks that set her off. She got angry and threw a Bible at him. Then she just left the house to stay at her Mother’s (I presume).

Well… that night my Dad sat down and read… and read… and read. It hit him like the proverbial lightening bolt. The very next day he drove to the church my Mom had been attending to meet with the pastor to make sure he understood the scriptures right. He accepted Christ that day. He walked with him the rest of his life.

My Mom came home the next day, not knowing what had happened. She was shocked to discover he’d turned from full-fledged atheism to a follower of Christ in 24 hours.

So how did it go after that?

Well, God seems to have a thing for pain. My Dad got laid off from his job. He was out of work a long time. They lost their house. At the same time, I was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease in my legs after waking up one day in pain and unable to walk. I was 3. We ended up moving into a low-income apartment in a high crime area, where we lived for the next five years. But God used this circumstance.

I was little, but I happened to notice a man on TV praying for people and they were being healed. I told my Dad about it. He and my Mom watched. He was coming to Chicago soon. And we went.

Leroy Jenkins was his name. A colorful character if their ever was one. Picture a faith-healing Elvis. He held crusades in large auditoriums where thousands of people would show up. We went to McCormick Place in Chicago to see him. And when he outgrew that venue, we went to see him at the Chicago Amphitheater. We saw hundreds of people healed. Or at least claimed to be. He would openly call for unbelievers in the audience to challenge him. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like it anywhere else.

We went to lots of crusades in Chicago, hoping he’d pray for me to be healed. It’s sort of an odd thing. You wonder why you can’t just ask God yourself. You can… but the results he was showing dwarfed ours. Maybe that’s just the way God chooses to use some people. For that matter, maybe it was a show. Except, one day he did pray for me. At a crusade in St. Louis, Missouri in July of 1976. I can’t speak for anyone else, but after he prayed for me, God healed me. It was just before my 8th birthday.

I’ve written about this event on my blog before. It’s altered the course of my life. I don’t know about Leroy Jenkins. He’s done some dishonorable things. I do know he preaches the gospel and God healed me when he prayed for me. That’s the extent of my understanding of the matter.

In the context of my parents’ salvation, however, I think about how it must have been for them. These trials and the things God did created a solid faith in them and in me. Granted, I’ve spent the rest of my life deeply frustrated when God doesn’t intervene, but I can’t deny what happened. And he’s intervened on a number of occasions. It shapes both my struggles with God and the faith I’ve expressed in so many posts here on this blog.

My Dad’s salvation story is the second I’ve heard of an atheist doing a 360 turnaround overnight. The other was a close friend of mine who also came to Christ as an adult. His wife wasn’t a believer. She was away for the weekend and came back to find her husband radically changed. Interesting parallel.

I have never actually seen someone I know turn around overnight. I can only think of one person I knew as an atheist that became a believer after I knew them. I think today atheism is the fastest growing religion. It leaves me pessimistic thinking it’s all over and no one will ever be saved. But that’s not true.

I’m sure glad I had that talk with my Mom. It gave me hope. Hope is precious thing.

Here are my predictions for 2012:

1. NASA’s next rover Curiosity will become self-aware before reaching Mars and discover it has a knack for puns and knock knock jokes, much to the chagrin of scientists.

2. The Apple TV will be released, however, all programming must meet Apple’s rigorous media guidelines and be delivered through their new Media Store.

3. The U.S. will hold a second election in December 2012 after no one is satisfied with the results of the November election.

4. The sun will finally shine in that place where it doesn’t.

5. Camel racing will be introduced at the 2012 summer olympic games in London.

6. Iran will figure out how to fully control the drone they captured, only to have it destroyed on take-off by the Stuxnet virus.

7. To go with pizza as a vegetable, the U.S. Congress will declare beer a serving of grains.

8. Ignoring complaints by Canadians, Canada will officially be named the 51st state.

9. Someone will invent a tape dispenser that only requires one hand to use.

10. Peter Jackson will begin post Hobbit work on King Kong 2.

I sure hope number 9 happens.

Happy New Year!

So here we are… the night before Christmas. In a few minutes, it’ll be after midnight here in California, Christmas day 2011.

People all over the world find joy in giving at Christmas. It’s a wonderful thing. In my family, we exchange gifts on Christmas Eve. That tradition started when I was maybe 12 or so. We enjoyed it so much, it transferred to my own family and kids. We’ve never done Santa. I don’t object to Santa, we just have a whole other tradition. I’ve asked my kids if they feel like we should have done Santa. Getting to open presents on Christmas Eve makes their answers an universal “No.”

There is really something special about the time after opening presents is done. It’s like we now focus on the night ahead leading towards Christmas morning, as if this was the actual night of Jesus birth before the dawn. It’s beautiful. We can picture the angels off in the distance appearing to the shepherds and singing, “Peace on earth, goodwill to men.”

It’s hard to imagine a world without Christmas. I’m glad I don’t have to. Some do. That’s not for me. Even a non-believing Jewish friend told me, “I’m a Christmas Jew.” He appreciates the meaning, even if he hasn’t come to believe God actually did come into the world that night so long ago.

Christmas is still breathtaking to me in its beauty, aside from the commercialism and such. Just a quiet night, lights, love, and hope. Nothing else like it. Though Easter is the greater victory, it comes with the Good Friday reminder before it. It makes me wish the gift in Jesus didn’t require his death for my sin. At Christmas, there’s no pain. It’s just the joyous celebration of God’s love. Emmanuel. God here, with us. That’s so comforting. Some day it will be other way. Us there, with God.

“Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.” Acts 20:26-27

It’s convicting. I should want to engage in spiritual discussions.

I was feeling quite ill at lunch today, so I wasn’t up to engaging much of any kind of discussion. But that aside, I have been actively refraining from opportunities coming at me. In fact, you wouldn’t be far off describing me as a wannabe atheist of late. Seems bizarre. I’ve just been feeling so empty and alone. I’m coping with anger and bitterness towards God. Temptation is calling my name. It’s definitely a dark night for my soul.

What’s crazy to me though is it is never believers that help me find my faith when I am caving into doubt. It’s people who really don’t believe. I go looking for arguments against the faith when I’m frustrated with God. I try to find something that holds up to my own reasoning. Somehow, I find it therapeutic. Not that I find much besides misunderstanding, misapplication, and presumption. I get it though. If not for God’s intervention in my life, I don’t think I would be a believer. Jesus said as much when he said, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.”

I can’t see God. I don’t hear a voice. But I remember stuff. I remember being healed of a leg disease. I remember God’s power showing up many times in my life. I remember feeling it overwhelm my senses a few times. Hairs standing up on the back of my neck and all. I’m not even sure that many Christians have experienced God like that. So now, in my very dark place, seething with pain and feeling trapped, I look back on those memories. Then I look out at the even deeper futility of godlessness and it nudges me back towards God.

I think atheism tries to say there isn’t a God because if there were he would behave differently and the world would not be as it is. In my wannabe atheism, which I cannot succeed at, I totally want to agree with that statement. Things are not right. Scripture says we brought this on ourselves when sin came into the world, turning everything to crud. That’s no comfort to me in suffering. Heaven sounds great, but this is where I live now. I’m not sure what to trust God for in this life because he keeps letting me down. But I am not an atheist. I am a follower of Christ. Right now, a really pathetic follower, but a follower.

A verse I hold dear is “The truth shall set you free.” I’ve found that to be accurate. The difficulty with truth is that it exists apart from how I feel about it, whether or not I understand it, or accept it. Truth just is. The testimony of my own life seeing God’s power and the testimony of the many witnesses in the Bible lead me to discover truth about God. It is freeing when I stop doubting him. My struggle is in having to accept the afflictions God won’t change. They make me want to doubt and deny. Yet, when I look back towards Egypt, like Israel escaping slavery, thinking maybe it’s better there, I realize it’s really not. Really not. No one there gets to see the grace of God like he shows to those who seek him.

It’s hard to recommend God when my own life is full of misery. Yet, Christ still seems like a good deal to me. Full redemption. Full security. Room to question and grow. It is well with my soul, if not with my body and mind. May the Lord give me strength to love as he loved us in Christ. May the Lord reach my friends who haven’t experienced that love.

I wrote a serious of posts on Sharing Christ, created while leading a class based on the book Becoming A Contagious Christian (BACC) by Bill Hybels and Mark Mittleberg. The class was very beneficial to myself and those attending. It’s a great book and I tried to write posts that helped apply the points raised.  The book is not required to follow. They stand on their own.

This is a complete listing of the series for those who are interested.

1. Costs and Benefits
2. Salt and Light
3. Get Real
4. Compassion
5. Give It Up
6. Get Personal
7. Step Out of the Box
8. Find Your Voice
9. Speak Up
10. Make It Clear
11. Overcoming Objections

It’s been a tough year. I would say I spent a lot more effort overcoming landslides than climbing up. You never know what hand you’ll be dealt. I’d like to think things will improve and these momentary troubles will all be forgotten. No doubt, someday they will. For now, I just hope the seed sown will produce good things.

I don’t know if I’ll be quiet for a bit or if things will pop up that I’m motivated to write about. I’m changing my focus in the short term to work on a personal software project I want to complete. I’m certain that will be time consuming.

Thanks to those of you who follow my blog. I hope I’ve given you some interesting insights and food for thought. Stick around. I’ll come back and write again.

The Bible doesn’t shine on how difficult it is to put your faith in Christ. So many things cause doubt and unbelief. Layer upon layer, those doubts can build a hard shell around our hearts and minds, leading us away from God. But what is there to be gained in turning from him? God is good. If only we could accept those three little words, we’d never be the same. As believers in Christ, the core of our faith is centered in that tenet, established by testimony of a three-word event: Jesus is alive. And a three-word promise: Salvation is here.

The Mechanics of Doubt

In English class, we learned the phrase “you understood” referring to the subject of a command: “(You) Duck!” Doubts about God also come with an unspoken prefix:

“If God is good, why…?”

“If Jesus is alive, how…?”

“If Salvation is here, what…?”

These are the machines of doubt that work night and day on all of us. Christ can pull us out of this abyss if we are willing. Not everyone is willing. Some hold back because of sinful desires, others out of fear. These too go back to what we believe about those three little words. If God is good, we have no reason to reject him unless we reject what is good. If God is good, we have no reason to fear him, even though we are not good by his standard, because love is good and:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

When we came to Christ and asked him to be our Savior and Lord, we had to deal with all these objections ourselves. Objections are not the exception, they are the norm. Even in him, we wrestle with these same questions. They are universal. If not for the Holy Spirit who pulls us back on track, we would all fall away. That’s the sad state of fallen humanity. But this is also the beauty of the gospel. Christ is God reaching out to save us. It’s how he displays just how great his love for us is.

“For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!” Romans 5:10

So, as people to whom God’s grace has lavishly come in Christ, we must patiently help others work through the same kinds of objections we work through to overcome our unbelief, unwillingness, and fear, so they can realize the goodness of God and receive salvation.

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:10-16

As we consider the objections people raise, no matter how complicated they are, or from what condition of the heart they come, we must remember that after all is said and done, salvation comes down to three little words and all that they mean.

Answers We Need

Objections lead us to the real issues people need help with. There will always be mystery, but the questions we require answers to are not beyond us. The Bible has answers and history has evidence. “It’s in there.” as the Prego spaghetti sauce commercial used to say. What we have to sort out is the difference between symptoms and problems. It helps us navigate past needless arguments and get to treating the heart.

These are some common problems people have coming to faith in Christ:

We can’t see God
We misperceive him
We’re turned off by bad examples from people claiming to serve God
We are confused by bad teaching
We’re afraid of expectations and change
We have intellectual roadblocks we think cannot be resolved
We have philosophical roadblocks due to our perception of morality

To help others get past these obstacles, we must, to some extent, work through them as well. It’s a part of growing a healthy faith based in reality, not just what we desire truth to be. There are a lot of claims made in this world and we’re not perfect either. If we blindly accept whatever we’re sold, we’re sure to end up in a world of hurt. Neither do we want to push out junk, lest we become part of the problem.

In each of these objections there is Biblical, historical, and practical truth to be found that corrects errors and leads people to faith. It is hard work to dig it out sometimes. There is always one more question, one more thought we haven’t heard. Learning how to respond is not about pride or prowess. No one comes away the winner from a spiritual argument except the one who finds hope in Christ. Everything else is dross. It’s always about the soul.

The direction we want to lead is towards faith in Christ. In every category of objection, we must consider how these obstacles were overcome by others who have overcome them.

We can’t see God– but we can see what he’s done in the testimony of our own lives and the lives of others he’s changed.

We misperceive God– because we have so many false ideas about him. We need to learn what scripture says versus what we’ve been taught or always thought.

We’re turned off by bad examples from people claiming to serve God– we need to look at good examples and discern the difference. People are sinful, but God is good. Where do you really see him at work?

We are confused by bad teaching– so we should be cautious about who we listen to and make sure we question what we’re taught until we discover truth that stands up to those three little words.

We are afraid of expectations and change– which is only natural. We may have changes to make and God expects us to live right lives, but ultimately, he made us and loves us they way we were designed. Others may have expectations and desire to change us in ways that God has no part in. It’s important to make a distinction.

We have intellectual roadblocks we think cannot be resolved– only because we haven’t really pushed them hard enough to see. It’s simply a matter of digging.

We have philosophical roadblocks due to our perception of morality– which may be difficult to sort through. If we can somehow start with the premise that God is good and work from there, he can help us work through the hard to grasp problems and reckon with our differences baby steps at a time.

All of this leads to a call for a decision. One day, some stop objecting and decide to commit. God is good. Jesus is alive. Salvation is here.

This post is derived from the book Becoming A Contagious Christian (BACC) by Bill Hybels and Mark Mittleberg.

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