2011 Predictions

Well, none of my 2010 predictions came true, but that won’t stop me from trying.  :-)

Here are my predictions for 2011:

1. The U.S. will finally eliminate its national debt by convincing a homeless man to take it over in exchange for the deed to the White House.  Creditors will be encouraged to contact him at his new address.

2. President Obama will win yet another Nobel peace prize.  No reason will be given.

3. Pens and pencils will no longer be allowed on commercial flights after a flight attendant’s eye is poked out when he startles an elderly Syrian man, while he is in the midst of finishing a crossword puzzle, on a flight from Detroit to Chicago.  Crayons will be made available upon request.

4. Friends will return to NBC Thursday nights with an all new African American cast.

5. Baseball will introduce some new life into the sport by releasing dozens of cats onto the field during games.

6. Sometime during the year someone will become the trillionth person to click a “Like” button, causing Facebook to suddenly be sucked into a black hole and disappear forever.

7. Feeling out of the game, Blackberry will introduce a radical new smartphone line to spark sales, featuring complete listings of celebrity phone numbers and addresses.

8. A massive sinkhole will cause Denver to lose its status as the mile high city.

9. The real ingredients of Play-doh will be revealed and 11 people will be arrested.

10. Researchers from MIT will discover a cure for common stupidity, which unfortunately causes cancer.

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