Next

I just spent five days in bed with the flu. It felt like being tumbled in a dryer. Things have stopped spinning and I’m getting my bearings again. What a week, but perhaps I needed it. All that sleep puts a lot to rest. I have lot of catching up to do with work and cleaning my house, but for a few days I didn’t do squat. I think some level of stress got purged in the midst of it. Now, I’m rising back up, retooling, and thinking about what comes next.

In 2011 much was made of the Harold Camping rapture meme nonsense. In 2012 we have the ongoing Mayan apocalypse noise. I’ve been thinking it would be good to take a hard look at the book of Revelation. It’s a book of both history and prophecy, the last chapter, so to speak, of God’s revealed message to us. It’s imagery is wondrous and mysterious. Those qualities lead to lots of speculation. I think it would be nice to hammer out the differences between what it says, its interpretation, and the speculation. Paul wrote that all scripture is useful. I think truth has benefit because it provides reliability, something we can bank on that helps steer us clear of error. What I would like to do in the near future is survey the book with an eye on gleaning what is edifying out of it.

A whole mess of famous end times books have come and gone over the years. In my mind, they’ve mostly done harm. I feel for the yearning of my fellow believers, wanting to see God’s kingdom finally overtake the world, but there’s a heavy cost to that. I think it is far better that as believers we hope for those days to be held off as long as possible for the sake of those who still need Christ. Without that attitude, I think a writer is in poor position to examine the book of Revelation. So whether the tribulation that is to come is near or far, I will daily approach it with the hope that it is far, because whether or not it is makes no immediate difference in my ability to serve Christ. That is to say, my focus should be on Christ and the commission he gave to seek others to come into his kingdom. The larger events are God’s deal to worry about.

Anyway, it’s a curious topic for believers and non-believers alike, so it should make for some interesting blog posts. I hope to get started soon.

Everyone’s Waiting

I’ve learned this week that good problems are as challenging as the ones you don’t want. My good problem is that three companies would like me to work for them. One, I already work for. Another gave me a great offer. The other was promising, but ultimately the commute would have killed me. So, now it’s down to two. I thought the choice would be easy for me, but that turns out not to be the case.

I am a Mac/iOS software engineer. I intentionally never say who I work for or what products I work on, because I want a clean separation between my identity and my employer on this blog. I’ll just say that for the last year I’ve been assigned to cross-platform applications for graphics and animation. These are powerful tools with some engineers behind them that are masters at their craft. I, however, am not comfortable in the genre. My history has been writing Mac-centric system utilities. I feel like Michael Jordan playing baseball. It’s awkward. So, I’ve kept my résumé in circulation.

The key point that I should make here is that I’ve been with my current employer for more than 15 years. That’s an eternity in the software industry. The company has been good to me, and for most of the ride I’ve been quite happy. My discomfort now is not a problem with the company. It’s a simple conflict of personal desires.

The company I’m considering leaving for is tiny, but the position has a lot of appeal. It’s a chance to do some serious iOS coding on an app I’d own top to bottom. The offer they game me is a nice offer I’m happy with. When it was presented to me, I took it home thinking this is absolutely what I want.

Today, I had to do more than imagine leaving the place that’s so long been my home. I had to tell my current employer that I intended to take the position. That was really hard for me to do. There’s the personal connection to the people I know and the reality of how it will substantively impact plans if I go. I knew they would make a counter offer to keep me. I could have just said flat out that I had made up my mind to take the new position, and avoided that. But there’s a sense of allegiance that lingers with me. They’ve been very good to me. And indeed, they did counter.

I haven’t pulled the final trigger yet. It’s become a very hard decision for me, a battle between my heartfelt personal desires and the weight of personal history, plus the life-altering risks of change versus the safety of the known. It’s courage vs. prudence.

So, everyone is waiting. What will he do? There are three camps. My employer, my potential employer, and my friends in the know about all that’s transpired. It feels like the climax to a movie. Everyone wants it to end a certain way. But there’s no fiction here. I just have to decide what I’m willing to give up to gain.

UPDATE:

I weighed out things carefully and decided to continue with the company I work for. It was a complicated decision. The reality is I’m getting paid well to contend with awkward feelings, but now there’s full disclosure. In some sense, I’m betting on the possibility of doing significant iOS work down the line in my job, which I would certainly find more personally appealing. I’ve also reevaluated my role on the team after talking with my manager and the project lead. It gives me some perspective. Now to play the cards.

24 Hours

My Dad’s been gone for 11 years now. It blows my mind that it’s been that long. I was very close to him. I’m glad he’s with the Lord, and I’m glad I still have my Mom. I had a good talk with my Mom this past weekend. I got to asking her questions about her and my Dad that  I’d never asked her about. I’d heard things from my Dad, but not her, about how they met and how they became Christians.

My parents turned to Christ after I was born. My Mom had an intellectual faith pretty much her whole life, but actually received Christ as her savior after connecting with a Baptist church shortly after I was born. My Dad was an atheist. He told me that he became a believer by reading the Bible. He was convinced by Jesus. What he didn’t tell me is how that came about.

After my Mom’s faith took hold, apparently my Dad thought it was laughable. He continually mocked Christianity. He thought it was ridiculous. It weighed on my Mom. She spent a lot of time on her knees praying for God to open his eyes. Things came to a head when he made some particularly ridiculing remarks that set her off. She got angry and threw a Bible at him. Then she just left the house to stay at her Mother’s (I presume).

Well… that night my Dad sat down and read… and read… and read. It hit him like the proverbial lightening bolt. The very next day he drove to the church my Mom had been attending to meet with the pastor to make sure he understood the scriptures right. He accepted Christ that day. He walked with him the rest of his life.

My Mom came home the next day, not knowing what had happened. She was shocked to discover he’d turned from full-fledged atheism to a follower of Christ in 24 hours.

So how did it go after that?

Well, God seems to have a thing for pain. My Dad got laid off from his job. He was out of work a long time. They lost their house. At the same time, I was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease in my legs after waking up one day in pain and unable to walk. I was 3. We ended up moving into a low-income apartment in a high crime area, where we lived for the next five years. But God used this circumstance.

I was little, but I happened to notice a man on TV praying for people and they were being healed. I told my Dad about it. He and my Mom watched. He was coming to Chicago soon. And we went.

Leroy Jenkins was his name. A colorful character if their ever was one. Picture a faith-healing Elvis. He held crusades in large auditoriums where thousands of people would show up. We went to McCormick Place in Chicago to see him. And when he outgrew that venue, we went to see him at the Chicago Amphitheater. We saw hundreds of people healed. Or at least claimed to be. He would openly call for unbelievers in the audience to challenge him. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like it anywhere else.

We went to lots of crusades in Chicago, hoping he’d pray for me to be healed. It’s sort of an odd thing. You wonder why you can’t just ask God yourself. You can… but the results he was showing dwarfed ours. Maybe that’s just the way God chooses to use some people. For that matter, maybe it was a show. Except, one day he did pray for me. At a crusade in St. Louis, Missouri in July of 1976. I can’t speak for anyone else, but after he prayed for me, God healed me. It was just before my 8th birthday.

I’ve written about this event on my blog before. It’s altered the course of my life. I don’t know about Leroy Jenkins. He’s done some dishonorable things. I do know he preaches the gospel and God healed me when he prayed for me. That’s the extent of my understanding of the matter.

In the context of my parents’ salvation, however, I think about how it must have been for them. These trials and the things God did created a solid faith in them and in me. Granted, I’ve spent the rest of my life deeply frustrated when God doesn’t intervene, but I can’t deny what happened. And he’s intervened on a number of occasions. It shapes both my struggles with God and the faith I’ve expressed in so many posts here on this blog.

My Dad’s salvation story is the second I’ve heard of an atheist doing a 360 turnaround overnight. The other was a close friend of mine who also came to Christ as an adult. His wife wasn’t a believer. She was away for the weekend and came back to find her husband radically changed. Interesting parallel.

I have never actually seen someone I know turn around overnight. I can only think of one person I knew as an atheist that became a believer after I knew them. I think today atheism is the fastest growing religion. It leaves me pessimistic thinking it’s all over and no one will ever be saved. But that’s not true.

I’m sure glad I had that talk with my Mom. It gave me hope. Hope is precious thing.

2012 Predictions

Well, another year has passed. Like 2010, none of my 2011 Predictions came to fruition. One of these days, I’ll get one right.

Here are my predictions for 2012:

1. NASA’s next rover Curiosity will become self-aware before reaching Mars and discover it has a knack for puns and knock knock jokes, much to the chagrin of scientists.

2. The Apple TV will be released, however, all programming must meet Apple’s rigorous media guidelines and be delivered through their new Media Store.

3. The U.S. will hold a second election in December 2012 after no one is satisfied with the results of the November election.

4. The sun will finally shine in that place where it doesn’t.

5. Camel racing will be introduced at the 2012 summer olympic games in London.

6. Iran will figure out how to fully control the drone they captured, only to have it destroyed on take-off by the Stuxnet virus.

7. To go with pizza as a vegetable, the U.S. Congress will declare beer a serving of grains.

8. Ignoring complaints by Canadians, Canada will officially be named the 51st state.

9. Someone will invent a tape dispenser that only requires one hand to use.

10. Peter Jackson will begin post Hobbit work on King Kong 2.

I sure hope number 9 happens.

Happy New Year!

The Night That Changed The World

Hope my last post didn’t throw any of you that follow me. I’m a big believer in telling the truth. It’s far richer than an all smiles faith. I want to win people with truth. No faking. If God wants to edit me, I trust he will.

So here we are… the night before Christmas. In a few minutes, it’ll be after midnight here in California, Christmas day 2011.

People all over the world find joy in giving at Christmas. It’s a wonderful thing. In my family, we exchange gifts on Christmas Eve. That tradition started when I was maybe 12 or so. We enjoyed it so much, it transferred to my own family and kids. We’ve never done Santa. I don’t object to Santa, we just have a whole other tradition. I’ve asked my kids if they feel like we should have done Santa. Getting to open presents on Christmas Eve makes their answers an universal “No.”

There is really something special about the time after opening presents is done. It’s like we now focus on the night ahead leading towards Christmas morning, as if this was the actual night of Jesus birth before the dawn. It’s beautiful. We can picture the angels off in the distance appearing to the shepherds and singing, “Peace on earth, goodwill to men.”

It’s hard to imagine a world without Christmas. I’m glad I don’t have to. Some do. That’s not for me. Even a non-believing Jewish friend told me, “I’m a Christmas Jew.” He appreciates the meaning, even if he hasn’t come to believe God actually did come into the world that night so long ago.

Christmas is still breathtaking to me in its beauty, aside from the commercialism and such. Just a quiet night, lights, love, and hope. Nothing else like it. Though Easter is the greater victory, it comes with the Good Friday reminder before it. It makes me wish the gift in Jesus didn’t require his death for my sin. At Christmas, there’s no pain. It’s just the joyous celebration of God’s love. Emmanuel. God here, with us. That’s so comforting. Some day it will be other way. Us there, with God.